Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
