I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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