Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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