I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
