god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
