I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
