i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Less talking, more tequila
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
