How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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