the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
