how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
