Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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