I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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