Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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