You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
