yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
