I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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