Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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