Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We got so high we made milksteak
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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