that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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