i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
