So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
