he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
worst night to have a conscience
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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