I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize