I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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