Can Purell be used as lube?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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