ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
