he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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