I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
