we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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