one might say we're banned from that church
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
