I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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