OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
