hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck