There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
