Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
