she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She told me I should be a condom model.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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