I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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