16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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