At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
