My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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