put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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