I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dicks are not precious.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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