Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
two words...techno handjob
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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