They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
