wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize