Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
