There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
