what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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