If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
