i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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