I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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