You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I stole a fireplace last night.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
