I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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