I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
