the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
