My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
