I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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