Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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