they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
