dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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