This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
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I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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