from now on my penis is your penis
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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