Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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