I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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